When I was younger I struggled a lot with walking outside of my comfort zones. I liked doing and being what was familiar to me. Routines made me feel secure and content. But, I feel like a mixture of various disappointments and frustrations within myself quickly made me enjoy stepping outside of my comfort zones. Now, I usually like to seek out things that are uncomfortable for me because they’re usually not as frightening as I thought they would be. Walking out of my comfort zones make me feel kind of powerful and more confident in myself.
But sometimes I feel like a kid again. Sometimes I get scared to step out of my comfort zone.
I feel like everyone can relate to what it feels like to be afraid to step out of their comfort zones. Why would we? They’re safe spaces and we’re used to how they make us feel. Most times we can predict the outcome for these spaces or “chances” we take. Going the unfamiliar route can lead to disappointment and failure.
After my sophomore year of college, I vowed to myself to never let fear of stepping out of my comfort zones get the best of me. I told myself I would always do what scares me most because that’s usually where the biggest blessings lie. But lately, I’ve found myself running back to my comfort zones. When I get into unfamiliar spaces, I feel myself start to shut down and reject every part of it. I don’t understand why this is happening or why it’s happening now. And, honestly, it makes me feel so weak and helpless. I’ve never wanted to be the type of person who doesn’t try thing because I’m afraid to fail. I don’t like taking the easy way out of things because (personally) I don’t think you grow by always doing things that are easy for you. But at this point in my life, I’m starting to run to my comfort zones.
Recently, I had an opportunity to step up and take on a leadership role in an organization I’m involved in. This new position would have require me to take on more responsibility, and do things I’ve never done before. I knew this position would have allowed me to develop better leadership skills. But, the fear of failing the people I was leading and the possibility of not getting the role had more power over me in the moment. So, I shut down and didn’t apply for the role.
At this point, I don’t have an answer for why or how to get out of this funk. I’m not going to try to find a solution either. I think I’m just going to ride out this stage or rut I’m in until it’s finished. I’ll just keep trying to fight the urge to run back to comfort. I’m going to apply for positions even if they scare the hell out of me. They may just be what I need.