The classic “Nice Guys Finish Last” argument was something that I’m convinced happened when a young Twitter homeboy decided to approach a girl in her DMs without commenting on her body and got declined. It’s tired. It’s annoying. It’s one of those things what we just do not stop talking about and continue to entertain.
Granted, I understand both sides completely and their points. Boy are seeing other men treat girls like the scum under their Timbs, cheat on them with their BFFs and never claim them on Twitter. Yet, when they try to take the nicer approach of, I don’t know, ACTUALLY trying to court a girl, she leaves him on read and makes him her “brother.” Trust. I know it sucks. It probably feels like a huge waste for your time. I get it.
But. Let’s put things in perspective here. I’m about to summarize the rest of this post in one sentence:
The argument that nice guys finish last is suggesting that courting and dating is a race, where you have to receive some type of prize. And I hate to break it to you, but approaching and expressing interest in a girl does not always guarantee you a trophy.
Yes, you approached her in a dignified manner. Yes, you text her Good Morning every other morning, compliment her on her beauty and offer to show her a good time on a date. These are all great things to add to your “Why I Am A Great Guy” resume, I assume. But, let’s say the girl did something like, I don’t know, decline your offer without giving you an explanation that you like, which she has the right to do. All of a sudden you are “reverting back to your ways” and “not doing anything for girls anymore” and yadayadayada.
But, I feel like some of you all are operating under the premise that you HAVE to do these things, and not necessarily that you WANT to. When you think you have to do something, you expect something in return. But when you do things strictly because you want to, you are more likely to accept the result. You being nice does not require the return that you want.
Think of it this way: I’m sure that there is a girl out there that was really nice to you. Who put her best foot forward, and gave you the best that she could give. Did you feel obligated to give her something back? Were you forced to give her loyalty and commitment? Because she was nice to you, you just HAD to give her a chance? Oh. Okay.
Furthermore, would you rather a girl go with her true feelings and end things before it gets too serious, or just play along with you “because you were nice”? There have been guys who were nice to me that I just did not feel connected to. But rather than leeching free meals and attention from someone that I did not want, I decided to be nice and tell the truth. It takes more than generosity and kindness to build a connection with people, and that is something that we tend to neglect.
Do things because you want to and not because you expect something from them, and you will never be disappointed. In a generation where we seem to refuse to do anything for free, approaching someone that you like does not automatically get you a reward. Both sexes need to be able to understand this and move forward.