Are people sleeping on you, or are you sleeping on those who are waiting on YOU to wake up?

Answer this question honestly before you continue to read this post. This is going to be one of the tough ones. This is a post where you are going to huff, puff, roll your eyes and then probably still not do it anyway. But you won’t be able to say no one told you because I am doing it now. 

Sis: you are going to remain single if you don’t give anyone a chance. 

You would think that this would be common sense and that the equation wouldn’t be this complex. But times have changed, and common sense isn’t as common anymore. Either you or a girl in your group chat is sulking about how she’s single and how dry her line is, yet not admitting to how she hasn’t allowed anyone to change that for her. Her DMs are full and she is constantly approached in public, but she’s still hung up on what so and so from 2014 did to her. She doesn’t want her time wasted again. She doesn’t want to be hurt again. She doesn’t want to end up in the same position again. Trust me. I get it and I have heard it all. But do you realize that nobody who has found love found it automatically, and rarely do people get right the first, second or even third time? What made you think you were immune? 

“But you don’t understand. He broke me! He changed me!”. Oh trust me, I understand. I just don’t agree. Are you going to give someone the luxury of saying that they were able to change you before you even turned 21? What does that say about you? You can’t let your whole outlook on romance and relationships be negatively affected because Monté had you messed up two years ago. That is not how life works. You are too young to be screaming about how there is not a guy worth giving a chance to. That, in my opinion, is a prime example of Little Girl Behavior. You think because you’re 19 or 20 years old and two people did you wrong that you should just throw the towel in? I can’t relate. 

Another thing that confuses me about this type of thinking is that it’s so contradictory. You won’t give anyone a chance, yet you tweet about wanting a relationship. You go out on a date only for the free food rather than getting to know the person, yet complain that no one wants to try to get to know you. You all have built these emotional and mental walls up for the purpose of making it a competition to see who will break them down. What kills me about this is that you don’t even try to break them down yourself. That is not anyone else’s job but yours. You are the CEO of your own life, and you still have to put in work. Don’t place that onto a boy. 

You love Ciara and Russell Wilson, right? They are so cute, huh? Ciara got her a man that loves her, cherishes her and worships the ground she walks on. But guess what she had before that? Bow Wow, 50 Cent and Future. All she has left of all of those relationships are songs. She had to kisses and lay with frogs before a King found her. And she gave ALL of them a chance. Do you get my drift now?

You are not going to find the one if you don’t take the chance. And what if he isn’t the one? Good. That just means that you haven’t found him yet. This is not a bad thing. This is not the end of the world. The world keeps spinning even when you get your heartbroken; do not behave as if it doesn’t. Am I saying to ignore obvious signs that things may not work? No. But am I saying to be open to opportunity when it presents itself? Yes, girl! Text him back. Don’t be afraid to engage in a conversation. Make some progress. You are too young not to try. 

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