What I Found When I Was Lost

Dear Lost One,

The fact that you have been able to admit that you are struggling to find which way to go is a victory within itself. A lot of people who are lost don’t even know that they are lost, and continue to go about as if things are magically going to put themselves together. Admittance is the first step to recovery. Being able to seek help shows that you are ready for a turn around. 

Do not think you are alone. I have been there, and every now and then still travel to that place. I didn’t know which way to go, who to turn to, or who to involve myself with. I would find a place of stability only to find that it was temporary; that maybe this wasn’t where I truly belonged. I found myself unhappy with my major, unsure of my future career, falling out of friendships and creating meaningless relationships. I wasn’t who I used to be, and I wasn’t quite sure who I wanted to be. The point in the middle engulfed me and placed fear in my heart, and I could do nothing but sink to the bottom. 

But when you reach the bottom and feel the blow of the fall, that gives you all the more reason to climb. As a Christian, for a while I couldn’t understand why God put me in such a place. It was as if everyone around me had everything together and had all of the things that I wanted, yet no matter how much I tried to keep up I always came up short. My prayer life began to weaken and I began to try to figure things out on my own. But this taught me an important lesson that you will never receive what you don’t ask for. I began to pray for direction and discernment. Rather than fighting the bottom, I embraced it. In that time, various forms of my strength improved and gave me what I needed to come out. The only thing a lost person needs is direction; once I asked for it, it was given to me. That’s when I began to find what I was looking for. 

What I found when I was lost is that it is okay for me not to know my next move. I do not have to be at 100%. I had made up in my head that I wasn’t doing it right if I didn’t have it all together. Well, if we had it all together where would growth come in? Where would our testimonies be? Where does experience become a teacher? To expect to have it all together as a young adult is setting yourself up for disappointment and feelings of false failure. Do not play yourself. 

Another thing I found while I was lost was that friendships of value are the ones who ask where you are while you are wandering. By this I mean that my friends knew that something was wrong and asked about my wellbeing. And while there were times when it was difficult for me to let them in, I found comfort in knowing that when I was ready, they would be there. Your friends don’t have to be lost with you, but if they are with you while you are lost you can be at peace. These are the friendships that matter the most. 

Finally, what did I find while I was lost? I found myself. I know myself so much better than I did when I was pretending everything was okay. I know what I am capable of. I know when I need to take time to be to myself. I know what I can handle and what areas still need strength. The beauty in being lost is that you learn so many lessons on the way to your destination. It is actually a blessing that you do not know who you are anymore, because that means that there is so much more of you that you do not even know. You will surprise yourself beautifully, and use your findings to your own ability. 

Do not worry. Do not fret. If you need to take some time to step back and find yourself, take all the time you need. That alone time is when you find what is really valuable and what truly matters. In my opinion, we become lost when it’s time for us to get to out next destination. If we didn’t become lost, we would stay where we are comfortable. Embrace this. Know that you will get there, and know that there are people around who will help you in the process. 

With love and honesty,

Lex, a former Lost One

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