It’s About Who Has It Last, Not Who Found It First

Everyone loves feeling special. We want to be someone’s one and only. There is comfort in knowing that in a world of a billion people, someone wants you and only you. We all yearn for this, whether we admit it or not. We want to come in first place. We want first dibs. We want only our hands to have been on something we really want. 

This mindset is the reason why girls despise hearing that someone “talked” to someone they’re interested in first. “Girl, we used to text.” “Girl, he tried to talk to me.” These phrases are things that make girls cringe. They will stop any form of progress and call for a deleted text thread. No girl wants to know that the hand she is holding once held someone else. Everyone wants to be first, and no one likes knowing that they are second. 

BUT, while I understand the thinking behind it, I do not agree. First off, any girl who isn’t a close friend of yours that has to mention how a man that currently wants you USED to want her, needs to keep quiet. If you’re as over him as you proclaim, why does it matter? If he pursued you and you declined, let that be the end of it. Having someone first does not give you bragging rights. Nor does it put you in a position to discourage someone else from talking to them. That’s Little Girl Behavior. And we are grown. Aren’t we?

Furthermore, if your soulmate “talked” to a girl in your 10am, are you not going to allow him to pursue you? Do you know how many women there are in this world? It may just be the case that he had to make a few stops before he found you. I do not care who my man “tried to talk to; the attempt obviously failed and he has found more success over here. What if a guy didn’t want to talk to you based on who you gave your number to? Then what? It’s all silly, and not reflective of long-term thinking. You can still be someone’s special someone, even if they thought someone else would be who you are. 

The major key in all of this is that it does not matter who found it first; it’s about who has it last. I don’t care how many women you have tried to be with before me; what matters to me the most is how hard are you going to try to make me the last woman you will be with. I can’t indulge in your past, because I had not involvement with it. Be so confident in yourself that you know what you have to offer is not affected by who he met before you. He wanted you, so he went after you. Focus on that moment. 

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