An Open Letter To The Girls Who Need To Love Themselves First

Dear Black Girl,

I know that there are days that you look in the mirror and can’t find a single thing to love about yourself. I know that sometimes you walk around and wonder why you aren’t as pretty as “she” is; why you don’t have what “they” have; why everyone likes “her”; why you don’t have whatever “it” is.

I know that these questions follow you and ricochet in your head night after night. You feel that you are inferior to the desires of this world. I know that your pillow is soaked with tears and your throat full of sobs that you never let escape.I know that it’s hard.

I know that it hurts sometimes. I know that you want to be another girl, a better girl, and anyone other than who you are right now.

But I want you to know that it doesn’t last forever.

I want you to know that your melanin, your hair texture, your waistline, and all your other physical features  are not things to feel ashamed of; they are things to embrace, to love and to feel confident in. No girl in the world is like you. You are you for a reason, and your uniqueness should not be overshadowed by comparison to another person.

Know that you can do and will be whatever you set your mind to. Be fearless of strength you have. Even on the days that you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders, just remember that if you keep pushing, the world will one day be in your hands. Your dreams, your goals, and your potential are all yours to reach. Let no one and nothing stop you; not even yourself.

love yourself!

Finally, and most importantly, remember this: the inability for someone else to see your worth does not change your worthiness. No matter what anyone else thinks about you, or says about you, as long as YOU know your worth and power, there is nothing that they can take away.

Those who are meant for a permanent place in your presence will never treat you as if you are temporary. They will love and adore you for who you are, as you are, and encourage you to be the best you that you could ever be.

I want you to know that even with all these things, there may still be days that you become discouraged. There will be days when you will wake up and still feel that you are not what society wants you to be. Days when you will still feel as if you have no purpose or power; as if you are simply wasting space on this Earth.

On these days, remember that you are not finished. Remember that you are not even halfway finished on your journey to greatness. You are still growing, still learning, and still experiencing what life has to offer. Giving up in this present moment would cost you a future that is already promised. You are beautiful. You are worthy. You are everything that you need to be. Watch as you become even better.

You have only just begun your journey. The love you have for yourself will grow as your insecurities fade away. You have everything that you will ever need; never feel that you are not properly prepared to conquer this world. Love yourself, girl. It will all pay off.

(This post originally appeared on a blog I also write for, You can find more of my work and other amazing pieces there.)

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